A woman's guide to achieving career success and still having fun

You know her for her presidential parody videos, but Sarah Cooper got her taste of the spotlight as an author. Her most recent book, 2018's How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men’s Feelings: Non-Threatening Leadership Strategies for Women, is drawn straight from her experience as a team leader in the testosterone-soaked tech business. 

About a decade ago, Cooper, who at the time was a web designer for Yahoo! Travel, applied for a job at Google. “It was going to be an all-day interview,” she recalls. “The first part was a review of my portfolio. I said I was going to present it as an interpretive dance.” Everyone laughed, which “broke the ice,” Cooper says. She got the job.

Cooper eventually quit Silicon Valley in 2014 and started doing stand-up comedy and writing a hilarious blog called The Cooper Review with millions of viewers worldwide. Her first book, 2016's 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings was a bestseller in 2016. (We at Monster loved it.) Says Cooper, “That was when I knew I had found my audience.”

If you’re female and have ever been flummoxed as to “how to respond if a male colleague has clearly stolen your idea,” or what words to use to come across as decisive but not (gasp) aggressive, or how to get “the visibility you need while also staying as invisible as possible,” How to Be Successful is for you.

Cooper’s advice is funny—she even includes several blank pages you can use “to doodle on while men are explaining things to you”—but with a serious purpose. “At certain points in your career, it’s hard to laugh at the double standards women still face in business. I wish they weren’t true,” she says. “But my hope is that, by getting these topics out in the open and laughing about them, we can change things.

“It would be great if, in the future—especially for young women just starting out—none of the ‘strategies’ in the book are needed.”

When How to Be Successful first came out, Monster spoke with Cooper about how to get ahead without making anyone uncomfortable.

Q. You reveal 11 ways to look busier and more productive than you actually are. Can you give us a few examples?

A. We all know men who have perfected the art of seeming to be the hardest workers at the company, even when they haven’t done any real work in years. One subtle trick is to complain about how much email you get—but never be the first to say a specific number. I once complained about having 200 unread emails, and I was laughed out of the break room. Instead, find out how much email everyone else gets, and double it. That’s how much email you get.

Another thing you can do is walk around carrying your open laptop. It makes you look like you don’t waste any time. It also makes you look too busy for a quick chat right now. Also, always leave for the day with your laptop, and any extra paperwork and supplies you can find. Make sure people see you packing up your stuff to go right home and keep working, even if you plan to leave it all in your car.

Q. “Authenticity” is a trendy buzzword in business these days, but you recommend avoiding total honesty at work. Why?

A. It’s really about striking a balance between being “authentic” and making yourself, or your team, look bad. For instance, telling co-workers about your family plans is risky. If they think you could be going out on a maternity leave at some point, they could immediately start to count you out for future projects.

So, if someone asks, “Do you plan to have kids?,” say something like, “Oh God, I can’t even think about that right now!”—even if you're pregnant. Try to keep it a secret until your child is at least 18 years old.

In general, keep your responses to personal questions, including questions about politics, vague and non-committal. Save your screaming for later, when you can do it into your pillow.

Q. In How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men’s Feelings, you make a distinction between “threatening” and “non-threatening” ways women can handle typical situations. What about reacting to a male co-worker who steals your idea in a meeting?

A. You might be tempted to say, “Hey, that’s exactly what I said!” The non-threatening way is to say, “Thank you for articulating that so clearly.” Let’s face it, if he hadn’t repeated your idea, no one might ever have heard it.

Q. Ouch. Have you gotten any feedback from men about the book?

A. Actually, the whole time I was writing it, I worried a lot about what men would think about it. Different men have reacted differently, of course. Some just laugh when they hear the title. A few others have admitted that they were laughing but, deep down, they were offended.

But whether men are insecure or sexist or not is not really the issue anyway. The only thing that will help women succeed is more of us, everywhere. So, women, seriously: Get out there! And be as threatening or non-threatening as you want.

Funny business

The title How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men’s Feelings alone may resonate with you, but in reality, suffering through a job you don't like is no laughing matter. It's important to be respected and valued in any job. So, finding the right fit is a key part of conducting your search. Join Monster for free today. As a member, you'll get career advice, job search tips, and employer info—including lists of companies that score high for upholding certain values—sent directly to your inbox. That's sure to bring a smile to your face.

Anne Fisher has been writing about career and workplace trends and topics since 1996. She is a columnist for Fortune.com and the author of If My Career’s On the Fast Track, Where Do I Get a Road Map?